Another day in Maggie Valley, NC

6/27/16

The weather is unpredictable today a real rain, sun, rain, and sun. What would we have to complain about, if it was predictable. We can always find something to complain about. The weather, our mates, children, too much work. Sometimes we just forget to thank God for the blessings that we have every day.

So today I am thankful for the irritating little neighbor boy, who has no one to play with and is just trying to amuse himself. He is a cutie with attitude. I think he is just lonely for other children. My grandson doesn’t want to play with him, because they always end up fighting. Than they are both in up trouble. I have been up since 5 am, Ms. Poncha barked me awake. At 8 am Kat came in from work.My son woke up shortly after that. Now it is 1 p.m and I am still trying to convince myself to clean our room.  I spent the rest of the day working on stories and watching it rain here. The boys played together and fought again today.

 

6/28/16

I woke up this morning between 4am and got up at 5am to rain and more rain.  Around 9 am I called my girlfriend/adopted daughter and discussed things that happened yesterday. Now I am off to edit some more of my book.

 

Always traveling

Since last September all I seem to be doing is traveling from one place to another. I left Ashville Ohio to move to Gatlinburg Tennessee to be with my son, his ex and her roommate and my grandson and the new baby. I love my sons ex like she was one of my own kids. We lived in a condo with a beautiful view of the Great Smokys. The condo was beautiful but it was three stories off of  ground. I love being on the ground.  Next we moved to Waynesville, North Carolina to be with the love of her life. A insufferable man that the rest of us can’t stand. The house had a mother in law suite and my son lived down in it and finally I moved down there with him. The most amazing person that was with us was the baby. He is a awesome happy little guy that just turned one. He is beautiful for a boy. He is staying in Alabama with his other grandma, who he looks so much like. The house turned into a nightmare it had bats. During the winter a snow plow pushed off the cap to the sewage line and when it thawed out the sewage backed up three times into the mother in law suite, so I had to clean it up. It was gross. We had to move from the house so we moved into a motel in Maggie Valley, North Carolina.  So here I sit in a rocking chair on the porch with my computer writing in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.  The most that has happened so far today is that someone ran into a light pole down by Dollar General and we were out of power for an hour while they fixed it.

Mental Vacation

AFTER THE PASS FEW DAYS I NEED A MENTAL VACATION JUST SO I CAN GET SOME WRITING. I THINK I WILL GO ON A MENTAL VACATION. PUT A SIGN ON MY DOOR THAT SAYS GO AWAY GROWN PEOPLE I AM ON VACATION.  STAYCATION THAT IS.  WE WILL SEE WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THAT.  IT IS LIKE SOMEONE ASKING YOU A QUESTION THAT IS JUST DUMB. THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER TO IT SO WHY ASK.  THAT IS THE QUESTION I KEEP ASKING MY SELF.  NOW MY GRANDCHILDREN I WILL DO ALMOST ANY THING FOR THEM.  I AM READY TO RUN FOR THE HILLS.  

THE RAMBLINGS OF GRANDMA

NOVEMBER THE THIRD, 2014

I WOULD LOSE MY HEAD IF IT WASN’T ATTACHED. I HAVE MADE FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK WITH A BUNCH OF MY MILLER COUSINS. I HAVE NOT BEEN A FAITHFUL DIARY KEEPER. HERE IT IS THE THIRD OF THE MONTH AND KELSEY LEA TURNED 6 TODAY. MAY GOD BLESS HIM WITH A WONDERFUL DAY. AS FOR ME I HAVE BILLS TO PAY, GROCERIES TO GET AND SUPPLIES FOR THE HOUSE. HUEY IS STILL IN BED I AM WAITING FOR HIM TO RISE FROM THE DEATH OF SLEEP. I WOKE UP AT 5 AM.

MY FOOT HURT SO BAD I HAD TO TAKE THE BOOT OFF OF IT, THAN IT WENT TO SLEEP ON ME. MAYBE THE PAIN SHOT IN MY LEFT IS WORKING I WILL KNOW WHEN I AM DONE WITH IT. WE NOW HAVE A NEW CAT IN THE HOUSE “SHADOW”.

THE YEAR IS ABOUT OVER SEEMS LIKE TIME IS FLYING FASTER THAN ME IT IS LIKE I AM STANDING STILL AND EVERYTHING IS FLYING BY ME. STILL WRITING ON WRITER’S CARNIVAL. MICHAEL GLEN MOORE WILL BE 19 TOMORROW, ON THE NINTH GREG WILL BE 20 AND SERGIO WILL BE 13.

DEPRESSION 2 ARTICLE FROM WEBMD AND ME

Other medicines may be prescribed in addition to antidepressants, particularly in treatment resistant depression. Here are examples of medicines that may be used to augment as an add-on to antidepressant treatment.

  • Antipsychotic medications like Abilify and Seroquel can be used as an add-on to antidepressant treatment. Symbyax, a combination of the antipsychotic drug Zyprexa and an [SSRI (fluoxetine), is approved for treatment-resistant depression.]
  • Your doctor may recommend or prescribe other medications or supplements not FDA approved for use in depression.

[ I never wanted to kill myself. When the children were 7,9 and 11 I would set at the top of the steps crying, because they wanted to play and I wanted them to go to sleep. I use to pound on my skin to hurt myself, when I was upset. I never had brothers or sisters at home. I had trouble coping with their fighting. I couldn’t understand why they were fighting.

I figure that since my dad was in a mental institutions, when I was born that he probably had depression also. Mom always acted in control, except when she was drunk and she was a happy drunk. I always thought she hated me or something for getting pregnant with my oldest. I think she blamed herself, is why she was so grumpy with me. It wasn’t all her fault. She asked if I would care, if my first husband would move in. He was young and good looking and I was a teenager, so of course I said yes.]

The common symptoms of depression are feeling sad or guilty often, eating or sleeping more or less, [for me it is eating like food is going to disappear in the next five minutes. I use to have trouble sleeping at all, but since the cpap machine, restless leg pills and trazodone helps me get to sleep then I just don’t want to get out of bed.] not enjoying things you normally like, always feeling tired or irritable [for me I feel tired and irritable at the same time.]having problems with concentration or decision making [If I am upset about something then my ability to make decisions becomes clouded.] thinking about suicide [I don’t think I ever would have tried suicide, I was raised to believe that it was a sin. I use to wish I was dead sometimes when I was raising the kids.]

Depression is not something you can just get over, you need treatment and should get help there are tons of mental health centers in this country.

There is nothing normal about Depression. A woman is at risk for depression when she goes through physical and hormonal changes, examples are childbirth and menopause. Some older people get depressed over losing a mate or having to move, are being serious ill, and sometimes over not being able to do the things they once were able to physically handle, it is normal to be upset about these things, but a lot of them become depressed over life to a point of needing treatment.

[People who worked their whole lives, even if it was taking care of their family,

become disabled, then depression can set in. You want to get up and do things you use to and hurt yourself trying, then you are hurt, depressed because you can’t do it and have hurt yourself trying to do things. Just normal things like moving furniture around in the house.]

Psychotherapy: Talk therapy involves speaking with someone who is trained to help treat people with mental illness.

The best way to help a depressed person is to help her/him get diagnosed and treated. It’s also important to listen to the person and take what she/he says seriously. Just trying to cheer up someone who is depressed may make her feel misunderstood. It’s important that you give support and offer her/him hope that the depression will get better with treatment and time.

Depression doesn’t just affect your mind. It also can affect your body. Different people can have different physical symptoms when they are depressed. Some people may overeat — or may have no appetite at all.[ For me I eat like there is no tomorrow]

Others may have trouble sleeping or may sleep too much. Some people who are depressed may have headaches or other aches and pains, cramps and stomach problems, or fatigue and difficulty concentrating.

Women are often more likely than men to experience classic depression symptoms such as feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and guilt.

Men who are depressed are more likely to be irritable or angry — and sometimes abusive. They are more likely to lose interest in their work or hobbies, but some throw themselves into their work to avoid dealing with depression. Men are more likely than women to have difficulty sleeping. They’re also more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol when they are depressed

Many people believe that therapy for depression usually goes on for years — or never ends. In fact, for most people, therapy is not open-ended. It usually lasts for less than 20 sessions and focuses on specific, reachable goals. Therapy typically ends because the person wants to move on or has resolved the issues that brought him to therapy. But some people with depression choose to continue seeing a therapist on an ongoing basis.

Although most people with depression — even very severe depression — can get better with treatment, many people avoid getting help. Only about one-third of depressed people get treatment. And typically, people live with depression for almost a decade before doing that. But the sooner a person gets treatment — psychotherapy, medication, or other help — the more effective it is. A combination of treatments can also be quite useful.

MY DEPRESSION

DEPRESSION

ROBIN WILLIAMS BRINGS TO LIGHT AN ISSUE THAT IS VERY CLOSE TO MANY

FAMILIES. THE FOLLOWING IS FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND WEDMD.COM THE BOLDED ITEMS ARE WHERE MY EXPERIENCES ARE LOCATED.

Depression carries a high risk of suicide. Anybody who expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions should be taken very, very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately. Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) — or the deaf hotline at 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889).

Warning signs of suicide with depression include:

  • A sudden switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
  • Always talking or thinking about death
  • Clinical depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse
  • Having a “death wish,” tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, such as driving through red lights
  • Losing interest in things one used to care about
  • Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
  • Putting affairs in order, tying up loose ends, changing a will
  • Saying things like “It would be better if I wasn’t here” or “I want out”
  • Talking about suicide (killing one’s self)
  • Visiting or calling people one cares about

Remember, if you or someone you know is demonstrating any of the above warning signs of suicide with depression, either call your local suicide hot line, contact a mental health professional right away, or go to the emergency room for immediate treatment.

When teens are depressed, sometimes it’s misinterpreted as normal teenage moodiness. But most serious mental illness starts in the teen years. Teen depression can have serious consequences — like substance abuse and suicide. It also can happen at the same time as eating or anxiety disorders. By 15, girls are twice as likely to be depressed as boys. A combination of medication and therapy is usually the most effective treatment for teens.

It is common for teens to occasionally feel unhappy. However, when the unhappiness lasts for more than two weeks, and the teen experiences other symptoms of clinical depression, then he or she may be suffering from adolescent depression.

It is estimated that depression affects as many as one in every 33 children and one in eight adolescents. If you believe your teenager is suffering from depression, you should seek help from a qualified health care professional.

[Sometime around 1984 I started seeing a psychiatrist. I saw one until 1998. All those years it was nice to have someone to talk to about things I couldn’t talk to anyone else about.

I was raised in the day of respect for your adults, you didn’t talk back, if you didn’t want spanked. So I learned early to internalize my feelings. I cried, when I was sad or mad. My mother was not, someone you could show your feelings around. It was just the way she was raised.

So I developed stomach issues at an early age. I still cry, if I get mad at someone about anything. It is not as bad as it use to be, except I would like to stop taking the pills, but if I don’t take them in a few days I am crying like an idiot over nothing. My mind runs all the time, so I take trazodone so I will be able to fall asleep and prozac to keep leveled out emotionally. ]

Antidepressants should help you feel like yourself again. Antidepressants actually change your brain chemistry, which may seem scary. But they can help make your mood more stable and even.

Here are the main types of antidepressants along with brand names:

  • Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) were launched in the mid to late 1980s. This generation of antidepressants is now the most common class used for depression. Examples include citalopram (Celexa), escitalopram (Lexapro), paroxetine (Paxil, Pexeva), [fluoxetine- Prozac, ]Sarafem), vortioxetine (Brintellix), and sertraline (Zoloft). Another SSRI, Viibryd, was approved in early 2011. Side effects are generally mild, but can be bothersome in some people. They include stomach upset, sexual problems, fatigue, dizziness, insomnia, weight change, andheadaches.
  • Serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) are a newer type of antidepressant. This class includes venlafaxine (Effexor),  desvenlafaxine (Pristiq and Khedezla), duloxetine (Cymbalta), and, levomilnacipran (Fetzima). Side effects include upset stomach, insomnia, sexual problems, anxiety, dizziness, and fatigue.
  • Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) were some of the first medications used to treat depression. Examples are amitriptyline (Elavil), desipramine (Norpramin, Pertofrane), doxepin (Adapin, Sinequan), imipramine (Tofranil), nortriptyline(Aventyl, Pamelor), protriptyline (Vivactil), and trimipramine (Surmontil). Side effects include stomach upset, dizziness, dry mouth, changes in blood pressure, changes in blood sugar levels, and nausea.
  • Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) were among the earliest treatments for depression. The MAOIs block an enzyme, monoamine oxidase. Examples arephenelzine (Nardil), tranylcypromine (Parnate) , isocarboxazid (Marplan), and transdermal selegiline (the EMSAM skin patch). Although MAOIs work well, they’re not prescribed very often because of the risk of dangerous reactions. They can cause serious interactions with other medications and certain foods. Foods that can negatively react with the MAOIs include aged cheese and aged meats.
  • Other medications:
    • Bupropion (Wellbutrin, Aplenzin) is different than other antidepressants is thought to affect the brain chemicals norepinephrine and dopamine. Side effects are usually mild, including upset stomach, headache, insomnia, and anxiety. Bupropion may be less likely to cause sexual side effects than other antidepressants.
    • Mirtazapine (Remeron) is usually taken at bedtime. Side effects are usually mild and include sleepiness, weight gain, elevated triglycerides, and dizziness.
    • [Trazodone] (Desyrel) is usually taken with food to reduce chance for stomach upset. Other side effects include drowsiness, dizziness, constipation, dry mouth, and blurry vision.

SOME DAY

Some day I will live in a cabin in the woods

Some day I will lose weight

Some day I will have  a husband

Maybe I won’t do the husband bit. 

Twice bitten already. 

Mondays

Mondays are my day to clean

What others dirtied up 

So I love clean

A little to much

As I get older 

the last thing 

I want to do 

is clean. 

Time would

 be better

spend on

Writing 

My Life

December 26, 1955 Carol was born to E.Maxine Blankenship and Howard Lee Miller. It was a cold winter Christmas night when her mom went into labor. Howard’s sister drove Maxine to the Hospital in Marlinton, West Virginia . The truck slid around on the icy roads. The winters can be harsh in Pocahontas County. It is one of the most beautiful winter places in the world. Maxine and Howard had labor pains at the same time. He was in a mental facility, when she was born. All families have some sort of mental illness.

Dr.C.K. Dilly had to wake Maxine up and have her push, she was born feet first and every time the doctor got hold of them. Her mother wanted a Christmas baby, so she named her Carol for Christmas songs and Lee for Howard. Her parents weren’t married. She was listed under Joseph Thomas Blankenship Maxine’s husband at the time of Carol’s birth.

Maxine and Howard lived in Washington D.C. When she was a baby, Maxine set on the Capitol Building steps with her. When she was little her mother would put honey on her fingers and give her a feather to her to play with, she would set for hours trying to get the feather off her fingers. Howard was a former Navy man. He taught Maxine how to do laundry and ironing the Navy way. He worked as a dishwasher in Washington D.C. He worked with a man named Eugene Roche who later became a famous actor. Sometime around the age of five, Howard just disappeared from her life. His sisters, Alberta, Hilda, Carol, and Phyllis came to visit her once in a while up on the mountain.